Koreans have parading their status down to a science, whether it be the flaunting the first 2 digits of a car license plate that indicate the city/neighborhood you live in, or proudly placing your BMW keys on the table while on a coffee date. Oh... and there's also the 150,000원 (~$150.00) BMW '7' keychain, that elaborates that the BMW is, in fact, a 7 series.
There are the nonchalant stories you tell girls.
"아니... 집에 들어왔는데, 쥐가 있는거야. 그레서 우리 아버지의 골프클럽을 가지고 죽이려고 하는데, 쥐가 피아노위해 올라간거야. 쳤는데, 쥐가 피했고, 이제 피아노에 기스가 났잖아..."
"Ohhh... I came home, and there was a rat in the house! So I grabbed my dad's golf clubs to get it, but the thing jumped on top of the grand piano! I took a swing at it, but it ran off, and now there's a dent in the piano."
Point: My dad plays golf, and we own a grand piano.
I was laughing so hard when my host dad told me this.
The last month was most importantly characterized by my father's visit to South Korea, and building 정 with the host family. There were other important events with the extended family, North Korean Refugee school, and fellow EAT friends.
North Korean Refugee School
The North Korean Refugee School is operating like a well-oiled machine. There are about 8 committed volunteers through the end of the year, and many more that want to be involved. These teachers travel at least 1.5 hours to get to Seoul on Saturday mornings to teach refugees for 2 hours.
I began one-on-one tutoring with a 36 year-old male from NK. We're starting with the ABCs, self-introductions, and basic words.
Every now and then, he will share a story about the education system in North Korea. We’ve only met twice, and we're slowly building jung. He says I don’t seem like an American, but just another regular Korean guy. A lot of the lesson is in the Korean language, so it gives me an opportunity to practice, too.
The other teachers teach two classes with either adults or children.
Some pictures from the school.
There are people that are suffering in North Korea. Let’s definitely remember them in prayer, thought, and action.
My Dad is from 경기고
My dad visited mid-November and I got to spend two quality weekends with him meeting his friends, and getting a tour of his old school and neighborhood. He went to 경기고등학교, which was the top school during his years there. It’s located nearby the Blue House in the 경복군 area of Seoul.
Growing up, I heard 경기고 was a big deal, but it didn’t really resonate with me until I told my host family that my dad was an alumnus.
“Wow. That’s a big deal! When your dad was there, only Korea's elite and most intelligent students could get in.” - host mom
My host family and real dad met, and it’s really improved my relationship with both sides.
A picture of 경기고등학교. (Now a public library)
Bonding with Host Dad and IDing 사춘기
Having a great relationship with my host family was never a top priority for this grant year. But in November, the conversations became a lot better, and the 정 improved, thanks mostly to the efforts of host dad. He seriously helped me to understand the heart of Korean fathers in a deeper way.
It all started one night, when my host dad and I were home alone for dinner. We decided to go to out for some 삼겹살. It was a typical somewhat awkward dinner situation.
We got to talking about fatherhood.
Korean dads generally take care of the family in similar ways. They make money, spend time out of home to conduct business, and spend little time with their family. This is their way of showing love.
I have wrestled with this for a long time. I don’t agree with showing love solely by being a provider, but I’ve grown to appreciate that it is one solid way to show love.
"20살 너머서 아버지를 이애를 못 하면, 아직 사춘기야." - host dad
"When you pass the age of 20, if you don't fully understand the way your dad raised you, you're still in 사춘기." (사춘기 = Korean word for puberty)
My critical eye resulted from having my own standard of what it means to be a good dad. This standard is largely based on face time and friendship, which left me wanting more.
But I know that there are other ways to measure a dad’s love. And although it’s something that we take for granted, money is a big thing. Money, is actually, HUGE.
I didn’t pay a dime for my college tuition. I had my first car (paid for) when I was pretty much 16 years old. I have had a roof over my head (well, more than a roof), and money given to me on all kinds of occasions. My dad was very hands off, so I had the freedom to accomplish whatever I wanted without financial hinderance.
My critical eye is grounded on my standard of friendship and facetime. Perhaps, as a father, I will do okay in providing that… but who knows what will really happen?
Maybe the Korean standard for fatherhood is not universally accepted, but it certainly is a solid way to express love and care. In that regard, I can’t come close to what my dad did for me.
It was over a plate of 삼겹살 that my host dad gave me an opportunity to re-evaluate my reason for being so critical.
So, thank you Host Dad, for helping me appreciate Real Dad; and also for helping me to finally get over puberty.
Ending the first semester at 각리중학교
There are two weeks of school left before I will be frolicking in… sunlight… celebrating the Holidays in California. As the first semester of teaching comes to close, I am left to ponder what kind of impact I have had on my students.
There were good students and bad, and I am disappointed in one thing – that I treated each student the way that they deserved. Nice to the good students, and mean to the bad ones. That’s the way it ought to go, right?
My goal was to encourage the students without a dream to take a hold of one; but in the end – I think I just helped the ones with a dream to see it more clearly.
In Ochang, about 33% of students go to vocational high schools after graduating. There isn’t enough room at the academic schools. That means, these students will not get a college education and immediately enter the work force after high school. Competition is stiff in Korea.
If my future were determined by my junior high school years, I would definitely not be here on a prestigious grant, to learn and teach in Korea. I would not be a UCLA grad. I would likely have graduated from a vocational high school. I sucked in junior high.
Next semester, I hope I can help at least one student dream bigger, and have a better future. Just one student – that is the goal.
Thanksgiving at the Ambassadors Residence in Seoul
Coming Up
Christmas Party at an Orphanage in Gumi
Thanks to donations from my dad and host family, I got three awesome kids gifts for Christmas. I will hand deliver them next week – at the Christmas Party!
Basketball Diplomacy Program
Next Semester, I’m starting an English after-school basketball program.
Winter Travels
Los Angeles, San Fran/Jose, Hong Kong, and Indonesia
Closing
Prayer Requests: To focus... and focus on Jesus.
Chapters of the moment: Proverbs 30-31.
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