Looking Good - In Reality (Not Paper)

I realize that this blog has largely been devoted to listing accomplishments. I hope this entry has more substance.

In the last month, I learned to view my experience as an EAT from a different lens while applying for positions with the Fbright Office, which required me to prepare a cover letter and resume.

I began piecing together my cover letter to let the office know why I was such an exceptional candidate.

“… I facilitated a partnership between the EAT program and a Seoul based school for North Korean defectors…” it boasted.

“… I am establishing an English immersion basketball camp for middle school students in my community of Ochang…”

“I’ve worked with Aimee Jachym in volunteering for KKOOM’s annual holiday party for the Samsungwon Orphanage.”

“I demonstrated my skills in collaboration, coordination, and blah blah… by doing blah blah blah.”

Bit by bit, I pieced together a list of achievements to show why I was the best candidate.

“This is perfect,” I thought to myself. “Now I can send it to Walker, SB, and some others for a solid proof-read before sending it in.” It was nearly a month before the deadline.

Thank God for tactfully candid friends.

“Mmm… your resume is perfect, your cover letter is okay. Where are the anecdotes? You need to make this thing more personal, or it will not be memorable. PLEASE, Daniel!”

Anecdotes? Personal? … Holy smokes. Did I just miss the whole point?

I decided to take a nice long bike ride around Ochang, just meditating and soaking in the scene. I passed by rotting one-room apartments, and empty roads lined up with an assortment of parallel-parked Korean cars. I felt the smoothness of the bike path under the treads of my bicycle tires. Shifting up a gear, I breathed in deeply as I glided down the streets passing 15-story apartment buildings with their adjacent convenience stores.

Why am I here? Why am I involved in the North Korean defector school? Why am I starting a basketball program in Ochang?

I confessed, “God, you know why I’m doing these things. You know the motives. You know my heart. Is it really to help others, or is it to help myself?”

An anecdote

One morning, I went to the North Korean Defector school in 강남. I wanted to make sure everything was running smoothly for other Fbright volunteers.

Teaching at the school isn’t always easy because we deal with logistical issues such as inconsistent attendance, tardy students, and discipline problems.

In light of these difficulties, I met with the leader of the local NK Defector Association, whom I call “지연 엄마.” I was upset because more than half of the children’s class was absent, and the teachers were not informed in advance.

In the previous week, I sent out a series of e-mails for the 8 Fbright volunteers involved delineating the schedule and duties. The fact that things were not going as planned made me nervous.

“Ohh… the students actually couldn’t make it today because they have class on Saturday mornings, and will have to miss it every week. We didn’t know that they had class until recently.” She was speaking very respectfully.

In my mind, I’m thinking: “Really? You just found this out? Couldn’t you have worked this out with me so that I could change the schedule up?” I was definitely frustrated.

지연 엄마: “Could we change it to a 1-3pm schedule instead? Students will come out then.”

“Well, I can try to work it out. We also have other problems with tardiness and discipline. Can you please make sure that students are on time and behave in class? I heard they’re getting out of their chairs during class to jump on tables, run around, and make a mess. If we change the time, we expect stable attendance, since volunteers are coming from so far to make this class happen.”

“Yes. I will make sure that happens.”

So we changed the time. I was hopeful that the class would get better. After all, I needed to save face with my EAT colleagues.

But things were the same. Missing kids, crazy kids, and new kids that had never come before were there.

“지연엄마, I thought you said that attendance would be more regular. And who are the new students? They are older and better at English. We can’t group these students with the others.”

“Actually, I was thinking it would be nice to have two classes. If it’s okay with you, can we somehow accommodate the new students and divide the teachers to accommodate them?” Again, her language is very respectful.

Perhaps my initial reaction should have been, “Wow! An opportunity to teach more NK students! The school’s getting bigger! Awesome!”

But instead, it was, “This was not the plan. Do you realize how this makes me look? This is unacceptable and there's no way we can accommodate them!”

After all, the very detailed letter to all the volunteers had already been sent, followed by another embarrassing long e-mail making logistical adjustments to the original plan. Volunteers were already shifting their schedules so much. There’s nothing we could do, right?

There is a point to this anecdote. It's that my heart was not in the right place. This school never should have been about me; about making me look good in front of volunteers or to become a bullet point in my resume. The point of this school is to meet the needs of a marginalized North Korean defector community in Seoul, and to empathize and share in life with them for their betterment.

It turns out that 지연’s mom works the graveyard shift at a local restaurant because that’s the only gig she can get. She hardly sleeps because she supports her two kids with her husband and tries to give them an advantage through these free English classes. She is an awesome and strong woman. I hope I can rise above myself to help her achieve her dreams.

I mean, really. These people have been through more than I can ever even imagine. Lord, give me grace and help me be gracious.

The Accomplishment List

I applied for the Middle School Youth Diplomacy program, in which the Fbright program, in conjunction with the US Embassy, create a diplomacy simulation for 8 middle schools in South Korea. There are only 8 schools in all of the country admitted, granted only Fbrighters know about it.

Some of my students expressed an interest in a diplomatic career, so I told them about it. Word spread around school, and in the next few days, I had a stack of twenty amazing 1-page essays in English from students explaining why they were the best candidates for the program.

Talk about ‘counting your chickens before they’ve hatched.’

I was rejected from the program. I had to tell 20 exceptional students that our school did not make it. We did however, have an ice cream party and award ceremony for the best applicants.

As I mentioned earlier, I applied for the Executive Assistant position for the Korean American Educational Commission and an Orientation Coordinator position for Fulbright Korea. The EA is an admin position for 2010 to 2011 with the KAEC office in Seoul. The OC position is to help oversee the incoming class of Fbrighters this summer. I interviewed for both positions on the beautiful Jeju Island during our last conference of the year. I will keep you posted on the results.

The Basketball Diplomacy Program started 2 weeks ago. I’m using the Ochang Dae Gyohwae’s (오창대교회) indoor basketball court to run weekly practices for 2^nd and 3^rd grade middle school boys on Fridays, from 4 to about 6pm. We have about 14 people who signed up for it, and it’s my first time coaching a b-ball team. My buddy in Cheongju, Mike, is sharing tips from his experience in coaching. In the practice, several students missed layups, and I forced the whole team to do suicides for each miss. It was exhausting for them, but they had a great time. We’ll have about 10 practices before having a mini-tournament with Mike’s team.

Teaching at Gakri Middle School is going well. Having taught for a semester, I am perfecting the “teacher presence”, and am so much more organized this time around. The theme of the class is travelling around the USA – and so far, I’ve brought my students to Los Angeles, CA; Crater Lake, OR; and Forks, WA. They learned how to drive in LA, went camping in Oregon, and learned about American schools in Seattle. Our next stop is Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where students will do a group project on what they know about their team members.

Future Reflections

Now that it’s already April, it’s time to decide what will happen in the coming year. There are many possibilities, including teaching English at Doowon University in Gyeonggi-do, renewing my Fbright contract (in Ochang or elsewhere), doing language study, and possibly working at the Fbright office. I will be sure to keep you posted, but just know that I am processing and thinking things through.

I am taking the June 7^th LSAT. That is the plan, at least. But what does the future look like? Brian Wylie is an amazing friend that broke down the art of discernment for me.

There are a couple things one can do when choosing a final career: Reading about the lifestyle of specific professions, talking to people who are in that profession, meditation and prayer, speaking with friends...

As I prepare for this test, I need to take the time to understand what it looks like to become a lawyer… or a counselor, a doctor, or whatever other profession interests to me. Age is meaningless when you know what you want in life, because progressing towards that goal and reaching it are one and the same.

My relationship with Jesus

March to April was a power prayer month. Amazing things happen when you are in touch with the Man upstairs. It’s a result of trusting that He will answer every request – though it may not be in the way that you desire. Of course, if you trust Him enough, you realize that His perspective encompasses viewpoints that we don’t have – that short-term disappointment can strengthen a man, if swallowed the right way. You learn to trust that He is good.

My prayer formula comes from Philippians 4:6-7. It’s Thankfulness + Petition = Peace. I also add confession and intercession in there. My friend Jinjoo recommended that I begin writing down, on a daily basis, the things that I am thankful for. There are ALWAYS things to be thankful for. I encourage you to think of a couple things right now.

Thank you for reading this lengthy post. For those of you that are praying for me, I REALLY appreciate it. Prayer is what’s keeping me moving forward.

God bless you all!

Philippians 4:6-7 (English Standard Version)

⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.⁷And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.